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07 March 2019 @ 13:40
I had some plans to start updating again. Even told some of you about it. It'd been working well for you. Sure, I could do it too.

Clearly not.

Either way, I've realized, for somebody who has a lot, lots of things, experiences, friends, and even family - you do just as much complaining (if not more so).

And when I've reached out, as I don't have a lot of those things, I'm met with defeaning silence. Yet I see you're wildly vocal everywhere. But also specifically cryptic, and negative here.

I used to get so frustrated. Now, I just feel bad for you. Of course, this sometimes just makes me want to reach out more. But I don't. So, lose/lose for me.

Which just makes me frustrated and tired.

This cycle is ridiculous.
Camillecamille_vc on 8th March 2019 12:35 (UTC)

But honestly - sorry you’re going through that. It’s a tough situation to be in - the wanting to reach out so badly but knowing/feeling it’s futile...

It’s up to you - and that massive heart of yours - how to move forward. Is it worth holding on to this person? If you stopped trying, would they let the relationship slowly slide into obscurity?

In my experience (& in no way I am saying this is yours) - sometimes you have to lose something which you hold so dear in order to grow and move forward. Sometimes... what you love/care for just holds you back and ties a tether around the waist. Sometimes... the hurt you feel now is a quick bandage compared to the consistent disappointment and disregard you receive.